Lazarus
by The Scarlet Rose
Summary: As of his perfect resurrection by the Lazarus Pit, Jason no longer ages. aka The time Jason became immortal and got to watch the world die around him.
1. 20

Jason wakes to white lights, soft and warm and the smell of sea air.

"Isn't this a bit stereotypical?"  
Blinking, he realizes he's under sheets, the fresh cotton wafting under his nose. And secondly, he's naked and not alone.

Turning his head to the right, a pair of green eyes meet his, and Jason is staring at the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

Sparing a thought o modesty, he opens his mouth to speak. She beats him to it.

"Hello, Lover."  
"Lover?"

She merely grins.

"... and I dreaming?"

A soft chuckle.

"Something like that."

Unable to help himself, Jay scoots closer to her. She doesn't move. Let's him.

"Are you an angel?"

She laughs full out this time.

"Something like that."

She stares into his eyes, allowing him to brush a lock of flaming hair out of her face.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to meet you."

Jason blinks, and understanding floods his eyes.

"After all," She continues "You got away from me once. It'll be a while before we truly get to meet, face to face."

His breath catches.

"You're... her... aren't you. You're-."

Death.

"Shs, Lover." She whispers, leaning forward

Jason pulls her to him, warm and soft and lithe for a kiss.

She chuckles.

"Not this time, handsome."

Jason wakes alone in the cool deep dark of his safe house.

He wipes a hand over his face, swiping the wiping the sweat from his brow.

 _'That was new'_

Usually when he dreamt of death it was all fire. All crowbar and falling and the Pit. Never that. Never... her.

His com goes off and he sits up to reach for it. But, he sees the problem before he answers.

"Hood." He says, leaping from his bed towards his armor. Oracle is in his ear, reading updates and mission plans.

Gotham is on fire.

X

It's summer time. Jason is 20 and Gotham is burning to the ground. Not in a metaphorical sense, quite literally. The city is literally on fire, embers and smoke rising into the sky. The heat was blistering. Time like this, he regrets not putting a cooling system in the suit.

 _'But, that would mean talking to Bruce which would mean him realizing that I'm using one of Dickie's costumes ... and talking to Bruce.'_

The com beeps in his ear.

"Hood."

"The children's hospital is on fire. Crews are there, but they're out gunned and can't reach the top floor.

"Got it."

"Nightwing is incoming, but he's far out. You'll get there faster."

Jason is already leaping off the roof, flipping and turning, priming for the next roof top.

"What, don't think I can handle it on my own?"

A pregnant pause.

"Oracle out."

Jason makes it to the hospital in under 5 minutes, grabs an inflatable slide and grapples to the top floor.

 _'Okay. Time to play hero."_

He rounds a corner into a lounge where a nurse huddles with several children. The smoke and flames are encroaching in and they cower away from him.

 _'Awesome.'_

"Look. I'm here to help." He inches forward, guns on his hips, helmet on his face. He freezes for a moment, before spreading his jacket, showing the Bat symbol emblazoned across his chest "See?"

The group visibly relaxes.

"Is this everyone?" Jason asks the nurse, blasting out one of the windows and setting up the slide.

She glances around. He can see the moment the nurse in her switches on and she takes action, counting heads and herding the kids towards the window.

"No. We're missing three. Two boys and a girl." She points down the hall "Their rooms are-."

Jason is already taking off, rounding the corners. The flames are rising, warping the plastic on the walls. He kicks open the door, time too short to bother with grace.

He finds the two boys huddled under a bed, one still hooked into his IV. He hesitates a moment, before deciding to simply cut away the lines, hefting them into his arms and running towards the hallway.

 _'Just one more.'_

"The girl." He shouts to be heard over the alarms "Is there another girl?"

They look at each other, before one speaks up.

"Cassie... she's probably still in chemo."

"Chemo?"

"At the end of the hall."

Jason sets them down, pointing to the window

"I've gotta go get her. Can you make it?"

They nod and take off. Jason turns on his heel and takes of running down the end of the hall, dodging falling tiles, flames now hiking up the walls, the smoke making it hard to see.

He reaches the last room and kicks open the door, mentally preparing to give his 'I know I look terrifying but I'm a good guy' spiel when he freezes.

 _'Just one more.'_

The room is bright as the sun, engulfed in flames. The chemicals on the walls bursting, glass shattering every where. The girl is on the bed, skin melting off her face, hair in flames, mouth hung open in a silent scream. She reaches for him and he freezes and then there's a blue blur and a pressure on his chest and he's flying backwards, crashing through the window behind him and he doesn't understand what's happening. Can only see her melting face and her arms, her voiceless scream until Nightwing appears in front of him, leaping from the windows, falling towards him in perfect free form towards him, as the floor finally gives and explodes and Dick is framed by fire, some sort of warrior angel and Jay hits the water and everything goes black.

Jason will swear that that was the moment he fell in love with Dick, but in truth, it was much much earlier.

Jason awakes with Dick's lips on his and water flooding his throat and mouth.

"Come on, Jay." Dick is muttering, pumping his chest "Come on."

Jason attempts to make a sound, to let Dick know he's awake, that he's .5 seconds away from puking water _everywhere_ but Dick's lips are back on his and they're soft and this is so wrong. He can still see and smell the little girl. Flaming lady of death.

"Jay!" Dick tries again and unable to hold back anymore, Jay makes good on his unspoken promise and pukes water up. Dick is at his side, rolling him into the recovery position and patting his back.

"Easy. I've got you." He soothes and Jay makes an attempt to sit up before his head starts swimming and he stops halfway to the ground, refusing to give Dick/himself the satisfaction of admitting total defeat.

"When did..." Jay chokes out, coughing up a bit more water "When did... how did..."

"The chemo drugs." Dick says by way of explanation. "Room was pretty much a bomb. We were lucky to make it out."

"'Lucky'." Jason repeats, with emphasis, finally able to pull himself to his knees.

Dick raises an eyebrow.

"The girl."

 _'Just one more. One more and I could've-.'_

"Yeah." Dick says, and there's a beat of silence between them."

Jason pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to push the images out of his mind. He's seen worse He knows he has. It's just..

 _'Not today, Handsome.'_

"Are you good?" Dick asks, extending a hand to pull him to his feet

"Why?" Jay asks, taking the help "Prince Charming wanna lay another kiss on Sleeping Beauty?"

Dick stammers and blushes. Dick will deny it, and Jason will tell himself it was just the fire but Dick bounces back.

"Sleeping Beauty, huh? Bit of a stretch, if you ask me."

Jason shakes the remaining water from his helmet, and fastens it back on.

"Oh. You know I'm hot stuff, Dickie."

Dick scoffs, but there's a smirk there that sends a not entirely unwanted pulse to Jays' groin.

"Sure, Jaybird. Whatever you say."

X

This is my first DCU work, so **please please please** review and let me know how I'm doing.

So I read on the Batman wikia that Jason no longer ages, and while I couldn't find any sources for it, I thought it was an interesting concept and ran with it. Majority of this is already written, except for the bitter end.

This is going to be a multi-chapter work as part of a series. It moves pretty fast at some points, but many points will be expanded on in one-shots later.


	2. 21

Warning: Sex

Jay breathes in the scene of sea air again, opens his eyes to white cotton and sees a tawny shoulder facing away from him. He reaches forward, expecting the same, but a pair of blue eyes meet his.

"Oh come on," Jay mutters

Dick gives him a warm smile.

"Disappointed?"

"Expecting someone else."

Dick pouts. But Jay slides forward. If it's a dream, might as well savor it. He presses his body to Dick's, his lips to his. But the body next to him goes stiff. He pulls back, and green eyes meet him.

"Time to wake up, Jaybird."

Jason jolts awake, blinking his eyes, confused at the mass of pale flesh in front of him.

 _'Uh..'_

"Jaybird."

 _'Oh no.'_

"If you're done making out with my back-."

 _'Roy?'_

"That'd be great."

Jason released him, quickly scooting away and doing a mental check. Did he and Roy have sex? Not sure. Is he wearing pants? Boxers. Toss up. Did he drink last night? Definietly.

 _'Fuck.'_

"Roy." Jason begins "What are you doing in my bed?"

Roy pauses for a moment before shrugging.

"I dunno."

Jason stares at him blankly.

"Kori kicked you out, didn't she?"

"Fucked me first. Not sure if that makes it better or worse."

Jason flops on his back.

"So, your bed is more comfy than the couch..."

"No."

X

Jason is 21 and it's summer in Gotham and he is fucking Dick to the point of screaming in a Gotham City alleyway at dusk. He knows he should quiet him, tell him to shut his pretty boy mouth lest someone stumble upon Bruce Wayne's ward, the pure and perfect Dick Grayson, being bent over behind a dumpster.

But Jason can't think of anything but how hot Dick is around him. How he mewls when Jason goes slow, sliding his cock in and out at a tortuous pace.

His grip on Dicks hip is going to leave bruises. He knows it. It always does. But Dick is giving back as good as he's getting, gripping the brick in front of them and pushing back against Jason's thrusts, clenching when Jason pulls out, pulling groans out of both of them.

It's hot. A record breaking heat wave. And dirty. A filthy alley that hadn't been cleaned in years. But Jason can't help but think that Dick is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Fisting his cock, pre-cum leaking and dribbling over his fingers, mouth spewing words Jason wasn't even aware he knew.

Soon, Jason begins to feel his belly coiling tight, toes curling in his boots (big mistake, given the weather) and he fucks Dick faster, finally giving him what he needs.

"Fuck, shit. Jay. I'm gonna-."

 _'Goddamn right you're gonna."_

"Hnng gonna-." And then Dick came with a groan, spattering his fist and the wall. Jay tumbled over after him, a few strokes later, spilling into the condom. Dick wobbles a bit, so Jason pulls him into his chest, planting kisses on his neck and jaw. Dick chuckles, nestling into them.

"If I'd known Disney musicals got you this excited, I would've taken you to see one a long time ago."

Dick groans as Jason pulls out, tosses the condom in the dumpster. He flashes back to the first time. In the manor, of all places, on the floor of the TV room, grinding against each other. Dick sucking the taste of stale popcorn off his fingers.

"Oh you know me," Jason says, zipping up and fastening his belt "There's just something about cartoon rabbits that really get me going."

Dick rolls his eyes, running a hand through his hair to smooth it, bringing it back to immaculate in a ridiculously brief amount of time.

"You know, part of me wouldn't be surprised. You did try and give me a handy during the forest chase scene."

"I was looking for the popcorn!"

"Under my balls?"

Jason chuckles and knocks his shoulder against Dick's, who shoots him a warm glance.

"Let's go get ice cream."

X

Jason is 21 and he's sucking 90-year-old Pinot out of Dick's belly button. Jason is 21 and Dick is fully naked on the floor beneath him, and biting his fingers to keep from moaning.

"We're in the basement, you twit." Jason mutters, his mouth lingering on a particularly sweet spot on Dick's nipples.

"This whole house-." He sucks in a hiss as Jason uses the hand not currently pouring wine down his chest to jack him slowly "Echos" He groans out.

Jason shrugs. Can't argue with that. Still, it was a Wayne Enterprises gala, the upstairs filled with politicians and celebrities and socialites. The house was bustling with staff and bursting with heat. So the boys escaped (Escaped is putting it lightly. In truth, Jason threatened to keep sexting Dick until he ran off with him. Pesky, but Dick looked amazing in a tux so who could blame him?) to the wine cellar, the extra hidden part that only Alfred was allowed into.

"They won't hear us," Jason says, sliding down Dick's body, mouthing at the head of his cock and pressing hard against his hole "Be as loud as you want."

Dick seems to take that invitation to heart and lets out a loud keen, which, to his (and one supposes, Jason's) credit it echoes through the cavern. Jason chuckles, the vibration sending tingles through Dick, who shudders.

However, Jason's not one to push his luck and knows it won't be long before they (more accurately, Dick) are missed, so he decides not to press his luck and gets to work, sucking Dick down and opening him up.

"Jaybird," Dick pants, and it's so sexy the sound crawls right to his balls and Jason can't help but hum his agreement.

Dick's back arches and his breath comes faster and Jason goes all out. He hears Dick's breath hitch then:

"Jason."

Jason ignores him, continues searching for his prostate.

"Jason." Dick says, slightly more urgently "Ja-." He hisses out when Jason finally finds it.

Jason hums his agreement.

"No. Jay."

 _'Huh?'_

"Ahem."

 _'Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck fuckity fuck.'_

A chill runs down Jason's spine and he freezes, unsure of what to do. Does he take Dicks dick - heh- out of his mouth? Pretend it was an accident? 'Gee, Sorry there Alfie but you see, I tripped and poured $2000 wine all over Dick and he slipped and fell on my fingers and well who wants to waste good wine-.'

"Might I suggest pairing that wine with a nice duck?" Alfred says "And not licking it off Master Richard like a kitten?"

"Oh come on, Alfred." Jason says around Dicks dick, which elicited a muffled groan from the later "I'm a fully grown cat, at least."

Alfred looks between the two of them, his cool veneer letting nothing go. Jason swears he's more intimidating than Bruce.

"At least do me the dignity of savoring the rest of the bottle from a glass." He says, turning on his heel "Master Richard, Master Bruce has begun to notice your absences."

Fuck.

Would Alfred-.

And just like that, he disappears into the darkness.

Jason glances down at Dick's largely wilted erection and removes his fingers and stands, looking for something to clean himself with.

X

Later, after the party has died down and ended, Jason sits on a balcony in a rarely used guest bedroom, watching the last few limos pull away, drinking the rest of the bottle (from a glass, like Alfred requested).

He knows he should leave. Knows he should've snuck away in the crowd, changed his number, burned his safe houses and disappeared until they stopped looking for him. Again. After all, he had been caught with his head between his big brother's legs. He could feel the disappointment and seething anger that would be on Bruce's face when he realizes how often he's been bending over his golden boy on every surface available.

 _'And sucking $2,000 wine off his cock'_ Jason chuckles to himself, finishing off the glass and pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to relieve some of the tension there.

He feels Dick before he hears him, tacky as that may be, but doesn't allow himself to react to his presence. Just forces his eyes forward at the last of the brake lights in the distance. Dick stands behind him for a time, seemingly gauging his mood before stepping forward and grabbing the bottle, bringing it to his lips.

Jason raises an eyebrow.

Dick takes his glass and fills it.

"You realize this means we're done, right?"

Dick pauses, glass halfway to his lips. His calm veneer breaking for a microsecond that anyone not trained by the Bat would've missed, before taking a long drink.

"Nah." He says, simply

Jason turns to him.

"Alfred caught us."

"Yep."

"Alfred-."

"Probably already knew, knowing him." Dick says, taking another drink.

Jason gives a quick agreeing shrug. Given Alfred's utter lack of reaction outside of annoyance at what he saw as a waste of good wine (though Jason would argue that it 'complimented the flavor. Though, Jason could eat Brussels sprouts off Dick and think he complimented the flavor) it was likely that he'd figured it out some time ago.

"Still. You think he's not telling Bruce right now?"

Dick shrugs, taking another long drink.

"Dunno."

Jason twitched.

"How can you be so calm about this?" He forces himself to whisper, though it came out as more of a hiss.

Dick shrugs.

"Doesn't change anything?"

"Doesn't change anything?" Jason repeats, voice raising inspite of himself "Doesn't change- This changes everything. Do you really think Bruce is-."

But Dick is on him before he can get the sentence out, hands threading in his hair and kissing him deeply. Jason tries unsuccessfully to swallow a moan. Dick tastes like the wine, fruity with just the right amount of spice, like himself. Smelled like over priced cologne and traces of Jason's shampoo, re-affirming Jason's accusation that Dick had stolen it from his apartment. Was so warm that Jason couldn't help but press his body against him.

Dick pulls away to mouth at his neck.

"But-." Jason said, only to be cut off when Dick gave him a quick kiss, nothing more than a simple touch of lips. "B-." Kiss "If you don't-." Kiss "Hey!" Kiss.

Despite himself, Jason laughs.

"See? Doesn't change a single thing."

Dick pulls Jason close, threading their fingers together.

"Aren't you worried? About what 'Dad's' gonna do?"

Dick shrugs.

"Of course I am. Not exactly a conversation I want to have but... you just let me worry about that, 'Bro'."

Jason nuzzles against Dick's neck, before pulling away, shit eating grin on his face.

"Jay..."

"Now, where were we?" He asks, sliding down Dick's body "Before we were so rudely interrupted?"

Dick braces himself against the bannister, tilting his head back and laughing into the night.

X

A.N. – I don't know anything about wine except how much I enjoy drinking it


	3. 22

Jason is 22 and it is Thanksgiving. Dick had to all but drag him out of the safe house, be he now sat, trading quips with the rest of the Bat clan, trying to work out exactly how many left overs he could get away with taking before Alfred complained, and shooting not so subtle glances at Bruce, who remained impassive as ever, quietly talking to Cass.

Dick is trying to hold hands under the table – cute in a high school sort of way – and is whispering sweet platitudes under his breath, but Jason, as subtly has he can manage, keeps yanking his hands away. Knowing Bruce, there's probably cameras under the table, and the last thing Jason needs is to be pulled aside for some awkward, probably slightly threatening, birds and the bees talk.

Dick is persistent, however, clearly getting agitated. Jason does his best to ignore him, focusing on teasing Steph and Tim, but Dick finally snaps blurting out

"Babe!" Only to stop, as the entire room freezes

"…babe." Tim repeats, fork dropping to his plate.

Babs blinks slowly. Damian blushes and Steph is clearly trying to suppress a giggle. Jason freezes like a deer in the headlights, mouth hanging open. Dick, giving a self-satisfied 'hmph' _finally_ threads his fingers through his, Jay too shocked to stop him, before calmly moving back to his meal.

Suddenly, as if by an afterthought, all eyes are on Bruce.

Bruce looks from face to face, emotions halfway to making it to his face but stopping before they actually get there. The silence is palpable. If not for the lack of reaction, Jason would be sure that his violent internal screaming was actually less internal than he thought.

Eventually, Bruce shrugs, picking up his fork.

"'Bout time." Is all he says, before resuming his conversation with Cass.

Jason takes a long pull from his wine, nearly finishing the glass. Dick still hasn't let go of his hand.

"Might I add that I'm pleased to see you enjoying that from a glass," Alfred adds "Instead of off of Master Dick?"

Dick chokes on a laugh, Tim literally chokes and Damian tosses his hands in the air, muttering obscenities in Arabic and leaving the table.

And just like that, things return to normal.


	4. 23

Jason is 23 and standing with the Outlaws in Budapest, watching a factory containing the remaining members of a child sex ring (sand the kids) burn to the ground.

Jason takes a long pull of a cigarette, looking at the flames twinkle like fireworks.

When he gets back to his hotel, Dick is waiting for him. Nightwing ivory eyes glowering at him in the dark. Jason doesn't even bother turning the light on. He sits down on the bed, his helmet resting beside him.

The clock ticks.

"Are you even going to try and make an excuse for yourself? Chemical fire? Starbolt gone awry?

"No." Jason says simply

"We talked about this."

"I know."

"We don't kill-."

"No." Jason said, and there it is, there's the rage that swims beneath the surface, the careful grin "No Dickie. **You** don't kill. You and Bruce and the rest of the baby bats."

"Jay-."

"None of you will do what needs to be done."

"And that's… what? Burn men alive?" Dick shouted, advancing on him "You-."

"I knew one of them." Jason says, voice so soft Dick stops in his tracks "I knew… from Gotham."

Dick swallows, lumps forming in his throat. He could have worked with him, Dick thought. During his travels. He could have—

"From when I was a …" Jason trails off, his voice shaking a bit.

Dick's blood turned cold. He felt sick. Angry, as he realized what Jason was saying. _Why_ he would have known a child rapist and trafficker. His hands itched with the desire to hold him, to kiss him until—

"So." Jason says, bravado Dick knows is false, slipping back into his voice "I covered him in kerosene." Jason stands, walking the short distance to Dick, encroaching into his space. Dick doesn't flinch. "I looked him in the eye, and lit a match.

Dick has no doubt that that was 100 percent the truth.

"And I don't regret it, Dickie. I don't second guess it. And I'll do it again."

Dick swallows.

"Some people, just deserve to burn." Jason says "And if you have such a problem with that, maybe you should just get the fuck out."

There is silence between them, Dick growing dizzy from the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He took along look at Jason's face, studying every nuance, every angle, every blemish. Then turned and walked away.

Jason awakes to a hangover, sunlight peeking through the curtains and under his eyelids. He groans, reaching over for Dick, only to find his side of the bed empty.

Cold.

 _'He never came back.'_

Jason is 23, and Dick Grayson has left him.

A.N. I'm an asshole. I'm sorry.


	5. 24

It is Jason's 24th birthday, he thinks, and he is staring, coked out, at a ceiling. He can practically hear Bruce's disappointed lecture on illegal drugs. Statistics and 'rot your brain' quotes. But as the girl he picked up in the bar unzips his fly and the room spins, he can't bring himself to care.

His eyes flutter shut, and when they open, he's staring at white sheets, bright and warm. He turns his head to a familiar pile of flaming red hair, green eyes.

"Hello, Lover."

"I'm dreaming."

"You're coding, actually."

Jason blinks.

"What?"

"OD-ing." She says, simply, turning to face him "Shame, really. I'd hope we do this little dance for longer."

Jason stammers, mouth hanging open. She chuckles, scooting closer.

"Relax, Handsome." She cooes "It looks very promising."

Jason feels a jolt go through his body. The bed shakes.

"There. They're jump staring your heart and everything."

She pouts, brushing his hair back.

"Here I was hoping I'd have you all to myself for a while."

Jason freezes, she grins.

"But… I guess we should've known it'd be a while for you."

Jason blinks, confused.

"Oh. You haven't figured it out yet."

"Figured what-."

"Time to wake up, Handsome."

Jason wakes up to white. Cliché, he can't help but think. He turns his head and sees a shock of red by his hip.

He takes in a shaky breath.

 _'Oh man, I really am dead.'_

The red begins to move.

"Jaybird."

Roy.

Thank God.

"Jay, what were you… what are you…"

Unless he really was dead and this was some sort of Hell-Lite.

Roy lifts his head, eyes meeting his, dried tear tracks on his face.

"How you-." Find me, he starts to say, but figures he'd just get a 10-minute long technical explanation that Roy himself probably wouldn't 100 percent understand.

"She took all your money." Roy says, wiping his face and standing, likely to go fetch a nurse "The girl. At least she called an ambulance, though. Shame for you to die." He says, over his shoulder "Again."

X

A.N. Drugs are bad. Reviews are good.


	6. 25

Dick Grayson falls when Jason is 25. He wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen it himself. He'd been called back to Gotham by Oracle. Jason knew it must've been bad if they were calling _him_ in, though you'd never guess from the steady that was Bab's voice.

He could tell she'd been running interference all night long, sending Dick east while he went to the west. To the docks while he went up town. He didn't argue, but couldn't help but wonder if it was at Dick's insistence. He hadn't spoken to him since that night in Budapest.

But he couldn't help himself. He'd finished up a warehouse, rubber bullets only, and headed to the industrial district where he knew Dick would be. He wouldn't approach him. Just pull a Tim Drake and watch him for a bit. Just to see if he was okay.

Just to see.

The building is on fire, of course, so he expects to see Dick leaping from the window, what he doesn't expect is the explosion that occurs immediately after, Dick still in the blast radius. The shock and the heat throwing of his landing. And Dick, "The Last Flying Grayson" Grayson fell. And not in the 'I've learned to love falling too' where he takes plummeting to his death and turns it into an art form way. In the 'Dick's body was twisting uncontrollably mid-air and Jason _knew_ that Dick wouldn't be able to correct it in time' way. Jason thought of the little girl in the hospital. The heat and the flames, face melted in a soundless scream. Dick had saved him then. But there was no water to catch him. And Despite getting some measure of control over his fall, he still hit. Hard.

And didn't get up.

 _'Just one more'._

X

Jason is 25, and Dick is in a medically induced coma. They tell him this is better than an actual coma, but Jason see it as all the same. Dick is pale, wrapped in bandages and casts. They read off the list of injuries to him, but Jason tuned out halfway through, when it became obvious that Dick would likely never fly again.

He'd been in the hospital with him that night. The others mostly left him be, except when Alfred would drag him away to eat or shower or change his clothes.

The door opens and Jason looks up, expecting Roy to be there, holding another bag of some god awful fast food and a board game. Instead, it was Bruce, trench coat draped over his arm, clean shaven face barely hiding the fact that he was breaking inside.

Jason opens his mouth to give a greeting but doesn't, unable to form words. It's the first time he had seen Bruce alone since it had happened. Since Dick fell. Bruce seems to get the message anyway, giving him a soft nod and dragging a chair to sit next to him, gently, so it doesn't scrape the floor, as if the sound would wake Dick.

They sit in surprisingly comfortable silence for a long while, listening to the beep of the life support machine before Bruce speaks.

"I'm surprised you hung around so long." Jason turns to him "Pleased. But surprised."

And that was fair. Post 'Dick Gate' Jason had made himself scarce.

"Oh, you know. Somebody has to be here to draw Dicks on his face." He gives a little chuckle "Dicks on Dick."

Bruce rolls his eyes. Jason gives a satisfied smirk.

"You love him, don't you?"

Jason freezes. Bruce asks, says it like it's the simplest thing in the world, and in a way it is. Who hasn't loved Dick Grayson? Who couldn't?

Jason can only nod in response. Dick's heart monitor beeps 25 times.

"I never told him, you know?"

Bruce turns to face him.

"Never said it." Jason pinches the bridge of his nose "Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid."

Because now Dick was…

"He could say it so easily. Every day. During se-." Jason trails off with an awkward cough, but he can feel Bruce's smirk at his embarrassment "Loving was as easy as breathing to him."

Bruce 'hm'd' in agreement.

"Not us though." He finally says

Jason's ears perk up.

"I've always seen myself in you, Jay. Too much."

Jason knew what he meant. The emotional blockage, the deflection.

"I'd hoped that Dick could fix that… for both of us. And in a way he did. He always had so much to give."

"Maybe we took too much." Jason mutters, watching the machine pump air in and out of his lungs.

They fell into comfortable silence again.

"What does he call those things he throws? The not-Batarangs?" Jason asks after a long beat.

"Wing-Dings." Bruce answers, smoothing his pants and leaning back in his chair

"Wing-Dings." Jason repeats, remembering "… So stupid."

"Says the man who ran around with a giant red phallus on his head."

"Hey! That was a dark period in my life. Also, not as dumb as 'Wing-Dings'. That sounds like a Hostess snack cake."

"You wore a reflect red penis on your face. In public."

"This, coming from the furry."

Bruce almost looked legitimately offended.

"I am not."

"You dress up like an animal and spend your time with others who dress up as animals, chasing more people who dress up as animals."

"Need I remind you, you were Robin."

Jason stops short.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever, old man."

Bruce just laughs.

X

Jason wakes up in the hospital, his head resting on the itchy blanket of Dick's bed. When he lifts his head, however, it's not Dick in the bed.

"Hello, Lover."

Jason's eyes widen and he stands.

"Wha—what are you doing here?"

"I think the better question is, what are _you_ doing here." She responds "I'm not here for you."

 _'But, that means…'_

"No." Jason says, firmly. "NO."

"No?" She chuckles

"You're not taking him."

She laughs.

"Lover. You haven't even spoken to him in 2 years."

Jason's breath catches in his throat.

"After all, he saved you. And you let him fall."

Guilt worms through his stomach.

"It doesn't matter." He says at length "It doesn't matter. You can't have him."

She laughs.

"Well, we'll see about that, Lover. I may not be taking him now. But, he _is_ running out of time."

The room started to burn, heat rising, smoke choking him.

"Wait." Jason says "What do I do?"

Laughter.

"Hm. Take him back to your beginning?"

The fire flashed brilliant, Jason shook awake, realizing that Bruce was holding him. That he was screaming.

X

Jason spends his first night away from Dick at the manor at literally _everyone's_ insistence, curled up in Dick's old room.

Back to his beginning. Of course he knew what she meant. He had known for a time.

The Lazarus Pit.

He had to put Dick in the Lazarus Pit.

Jason slid out of bed and padded down to the Batcave barefoot, sitting down at the Bat computer, calling up a search on Lazarus Pits, honestly surprised it still responded to him.

Time must've gotten away from him, him being so absorbed in his work, that Tim had actually managed to sneak up on him, though he would later deny it when the replacement asked. Tim rubbed sleep out of his eye and Jason switched the screens.

"Jason?" Tim asks, voice still rough from sleep "What are you doing down here?"

"Couldn't sleep." He replies, actually the truth, partly anyway "Thought I'd get some work done."

Tim stops, only a few feet from him, looking him in the eye, scratching at his shoulders behind the oversized Superboy shirt he was wearing. Jason wants to make a crack about how that was _obviously_ not store bought material and clearly belonged to the clone, but drops it. Tim will tell them when he's ready.

"So you decided to figure out how to put Dick in The Pit?"

Jason swallows. Fuck. He was really off his game. He hadn't even bothered to think up a convincing excuse.

"Er…"

"Don't bother." Tim says, bringing a chair over and sitting next to Jason, calling his screen back up "Besides. There's no way you can pull this off on your own."

Jason looks almost offended. Tim continues.

"Dick is in a highly secured floor of Gotham Memorial, in a room Bruce specifically chose with guards Bruce specifically chose of a hospital he owns. He's hooked up to dozens of machines, not to mention the one that's actually keeping him alive, you know, 'life support'?"

Jason sighs.

"That doesn't…"

"You think you can, single handedly, get into the hospital, past the guards, find the appropriate drugs, dosages, machines and equipment to keep him alive for the, honestly several _days,_ it could take to get him to a Pit, assuming that it's an active one and _not_ guarded by the League of Assassins?"

"It's not-."

"Keep him alive outside of a hospital and likely off life support, get him into a Lazarus Pit, and then back to Gotham?"

"Ye-."  
" _Without_ Bruce knowing?"

Fuck.

Replacement was right.

There was almost no way he could pull this off. Even if he could figure out how to keep Dick in his coma on life support while traveling and get him out of the hospital…

There was no way Bruce wouldn't find out.

"Jay. We need to tell him."

"No!" Jason shouts, then lowering his voice "No."

"He could help."

"He's Batman. He wouldn't."

"Dick is his **son**."

"He. Is. Batman." Jason repeats, fists balling "He'd never put Dick in a Pit. Not when he think there's a chance he'll pull through. Hell, he wouldn't even put me in one and I was actually already literally fucking dead."

"That's different."

"Why? Because he doesn't love me as much as Dick?"

"Because he loves you both, loves us all too much to risk it."

Jason pauses.

"He knows what the Pit can do. How it can _change_ you. With the head trauma you sustained from the Joker… he didn't want you to come back _wrong_."

Jason remains silent. He knows that, truth be told and understands it.

"Jay." Tim says "He wouldn't want Dick to come back and not be _Dick_."

And that was something Jason hadn't really considered. The possibility of Dick no longer being Dick. Dick coming back as someone else.

"I came back fine."

"Did you?"

Jason balks at the implication of that. It was something the Bat clan had always hinted at, never truly discussed. His rage. His violence. His killing. Was that a result of the Pit?

Or had that always been there?

Jason remembers a rapist, and a rooftop.

"Dickie won't be dead when we put him in."

"Can you be sure? Can you be sure you can keep him alive, by yourself, long enough to get him in?"

The 'without Bruce knowing', went unspoken.

"Tim, I have to try."

"Do you?" Tim replies "Do you really? He's doing alright in the hospital. There a chance he'll pull through fine."

"And yeah." Jason says "Never be able to fly again."

Tim visibly pauses at that.

"Do you think that's how Dick would want to live?"

"What about Babs."

"Babs is Babs." Jason replies "Dick isn't."

Tim runs his fingers through his hair, too pretty and long, almost like Dick's.

"Tim, I have to do this. He doesn't-." He trails off. What could he say? 'Death comes to me in my dreams and 1. She's a babe and 2. She's going to kill Dick?'

"We don't know that."

 _'I do.'_

"What do you think Dick would want Jay? Really. What do you honestly think he would want?"

And that is the question Jay has been trying to avoid.

What would Dick want? Would Dick want to be put in a Lazarus Pit?

No. Of course the answer was no.

"I dunno, Timmy. Why don't we drive down to Gotham Memorial and ask him?"

Tim flinches at that.

"Why don't we wake him from his coma, watch him sit in excruciating pain and tell him that he's probably just _barely_ going to be able to walk again, much less fly? That he'll never be Nightwing again?"

Tim fell silent, and the quiet hung like a fog between them for a long time.

"Bruce will never let you." He says, at last

"Then. I guess Bruce better not find out."

"Jason. If you move him without the know hows, you'll kill him"

Jason's eyes meet his.

"Then I guess you'd better use that big brain of yours, Timbo. Because I'm doing this, with or without you." He says, standing and walking away

"And if he dies?" Tim asks "If it doesn't work?"

"Then," Jason says, not missing a beat "He won't be without company for long."

Jason wasn't sure if he'd actually do it. Follow Dick if he didn't pull through. If he died. But he knew the thought would make Tim more likely to help him without argue. Despite their differences, he knew Tim couldn't bear to lose two of his brothers.

X

In the end, Tim pulls through, locating an active Lazarus Pit and helping him come up with a plan to get Dick out of the hospital without Bruce knowing.

Roy comes through with transportation, having rigged a helicopter he got from God knows where to serve as a medical transport, and before Jason realizes it, there's several guards unconscious at Gotham Memorial and they're in the air. Not before Roy gives him the 'are you sure you want to do this, Jaybird?' spiel.

' _No, Roy. I'm not fucking sure. Just hand over the goddamn keys.'_

They need to be out of Gotham air before Bruce can get out of his meeting, get to the cave, and get airborne.

Dick doesn't wake up during the journey. He does, however, flatline. Twice. Jason refuses to sleep, not wanting to see Her. Not wanting to know that he couldn't stop her.

Babs chirps into his frequency to tell him that the Bat plan has left Gotham. They've got a few hours headstart, but even flying top speed, it's likely that Bruce will be close behind them.

"He knows where we're headed."

"It's Bruce."

"Did you tell him?"

Silence.

"No."

"Will you?"

Babs doesn't respond.

"Just…" Babs begins "Just don't-."

"I know."

"—Fuck this up." She continues "Or I will kill you, Jason Peter Todd."

And he had no doubt that that was the truth, or at least eerily close to it. Chair or no, Babs would absolutely beat him to death.

Time passes, and they're on the ground, heading into The Pit's cave when the BatPlane flies over and begins to prepare for landing. Jason is carrying Dick as carefully as he can manage, fearful of somehow doing something that the Lazarus Pit couldn't fix, counting on Tim and Roy to clear the path. He can hear the tell tell sound of explosive Batarangs behind him. The room is filled with guards, taking advantage of the fact that they're more likely to go after Bruce than him.

He is waist deep in the green pool looking at Dick's face, twisted in pain, even in unconsciousness, when Bruce calls out to him.

"Hood. Jason! Don't!"

And despite himself, Batman's soldier to his core, Jason freezes.

"Don't do this."

"I-I haveto."

"You know the Pit. You know what it could do to him!"

Jason blinks, swallowing.

Yes, he did. He knows what comes out of the water could very well not be 100 percent Dick.

After all, was he 100 percent the same?

"I'm sorry," Jason says, and submerges Dick in the water.

Everything slows. Bruce's hands clinch into fists and freezes, allowing an Assassin to get in a lucky blow.

Jason takes the time to glance down at Dick who is just beginning to stir, to thrash. Blue eyes snap open and the water shifts and Bruce's fist is in his face and the world goes black.

X

Jason wakes in handcuffs and ropes. Serious knots. Bruce meant business. He realizes he's in the back of the Batplane and he can hear Bruce arguing with Tim.

"—Can I trust you-" Bruce's voice is floating in and out "Go along with insane plots-."

"Bruce, it worked."

"And if it hadn't?"

But that was all Jason needed to hear. It worked. Dick was going to live. The lack of sleep and injury caught up with him, and he blacked out.

X

Turns out, it only "mostly" worked. Dick was out of the woods, but hadn't been submerged long enough to fully heal. Jay hung around as Leslie gave them the updated prognosis. The brain and head trauma had been healed. He still had some minor swelling around his spine, fractures in his arms and legs, but nothing that should cause any lasting damage. He'd need several months of physical therapy to get back to where he was, but he'd be able to fly again.

And with that knowledge, Jason disappears.


	7. 26

Jason is 26 and in Cambodia, in some ramshackle motel by the beach. He'd just gotten done taking down a drug ring, managed to get enough water pressure to scrub the coke out of his hair and was content to just pass the fuck out when his phone vibrates with a text. It's an unknown number, but he knows who it is, all the same.

" _Come home."_

X

Jason is 26 and it's summer in Gotham and he is kissing Dick Grayson on a rooftop. There's that voice in the back of his head that's telling him to stop. Telling him that they shouldn't be doing this, that Dick _left_ him. Willingly walked out on him and he didn't see him for two years. **Screams** that they aren't even together.

But it's a slow night in Gotham, sticky summer air with a cool breeze and Dick tastes sweet, like that fucking sugary cereal he probably _still_ eats for every meal and when Jason grabs his ass he swears he just found the fuck fucking Holy Grail.

Dick's legs are around his waist and his fingers thread hard through his hair, pulling and Jason says 'fuck it', slams Dick into the wall and goes to town.

But it's when Dick mewls against him, hips rolling something goddamn obscene and Jason's working Dick's zipper, so close to _finally_ touching Dick's skin that he stops.

 _'Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck.'_

"Jay?" Dick asks "What is it?"

"Nothing. Well, not nothing it's…" He gently guides Dick's legs away from his hips.

"Is it—Do you not want this?" Dick asks, then softer "Not want _me_?"

"No no no!" Jason says hastily, wanting to lean back in and kiss the doubt off his face "That's not it."

"But-."

"I think it's pretty obvious how much I want you, Dick." Jason says, gesturing towards the bulge in his pants

"Then what's the problem?" Dick asks, leaning forward, capturing Jason's lip between his teeth, fingers sliding just beneath the waistband of his pants

Jason groaned and almost caved, but forced himself away.

"The problem is, Dick, you left me."

Dick pauses.

"I killed people… _kill_ people and **you** left me."

Dick sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"That… that hasn't changed." He continues

Yes it has. Jason can't deny he's been less lethal since.

"And I can't… I can't do that again."

Can't have you walk away.

Dick paced a few times, teeth worrying at his bottom lip.

"Look, have you killed anybody lately?"

"What, like today?"

"Yea."

"…No?"

"This week?"

"No?"

"This month?"

Jason pauses to think.

"No…" He says at length

"Great, that's a start." Dick says "As for the future… we'll cross that bridge when we get there."

"When I set another rapist on fire?"

"Okay, maybe… _don't_ do that?"

"I won't prom-."

"Yeah, I get it. Can we just… work on it?"

There was that eager pleading in Dick's eye that Jason could never resist. The same pleading he'd gotten in his eyes when they went to the carnival and he begged Jason to play all of the shooting games so he could win the huge prizes. He did, until Dick had more giant toys than could fit in the car, and Jason was pretty sure a carny was going to fight him.

"…Yeah." Jason sighs "Yeah, we can work on it."

Dick sighs with relief, leaning in to kiss Jay again. To his cock's protesting, Jason stopped him.

"Okay but…" Jay interrupted.

Dick pouted.

Literally pouted.

"Do you think we should just… jump right back in?"  
"Yes." Dick says, reaching for him again

Jason rolls his eyes.

"I'm serious," He insists "Maybe we should take it slow. Some dates and-."

"Jay," Dick blinks, obviously trying to suppress a grin "Are you saying you want to 'court' me?"

Jason rolls his eyes, anxiousness clawing at his stomach.

 _'Of course you wouldn't want to. Why would I even think you'd want that? That you'd feel the same way.'_

"You can just say you think it's stupid, Dick."

"I don't." Dick laughs, stepping forward again, taking Jason's face in his hands, sky blue eyes staring into his, bumping his nose against his gently. Jason can feel how warm Dick is, the anxiousness leaving his body "I think, I think maybe you're right."

X

Jason is 26 and he's on a date with Dick Grayson.

An honest to God date. Not a 'hand job in the theater' date. But a 'little hidden away Chinese place where they make their own dumplings' date. They're hidden away in a back booth, knees brushing under the table, trading quips and stories.

Dick tells Jason about his parents, about his time in the circus, about the time his pants fell down and he nearly flashed an entire crowd.

Jason tells Dick about growing up in Gotham. About being a street rat. When he begins to stumble upon _exactly_ how he'd know a child rapist, Dick smoothly changes the subject.

They eat what Jason thinks is an obscene amount of food (though Dick, by some freak of nature, claims to still be hungry) and walk side by side on the street. Dick tries to thread their fingers together, but Jason tucks his hands in his jacket pockets, still uneasy with public affection.

Dick gets it though, and just bumps their shoulders together from time to time.

It's nice.

X

Three weeks into dating, Dick finally thinks it's time to invite Jason in 'for a cup of coffee'. Even Jason can't deny how ridiculous it is, Dick inviting Jay up like he's some girl he picked up at the book store, when the last time he was in Dick's apartment he had Dick bent over the countertop with his tongue up his ass.

Still, he plays the part. Let's Dick lead the way, toes his shoes off, sits awkwardly on the couch (where he once spent 45 minutes worshiping Dick's balls) picking at the tear in the upholstery that was still there from when Dick gripped too tight while riding him, and pretends to not have an opinion when Dick offers to 'put something on to watch' while the coffee brews.

In the end, Dick plays a random space episode of Nova and busies himself in the kitchen, talking to Jay over the sound of the pot brewing.

"You want something to snack on?" Dick asks. Jay knows he's just offering to be polite, and that Jay can't eat another bite, but shrugs.

"Sure."

He tilts his head back to stare that the ceiling, listening to the narrator talk about black holes.

" _-Inescapable gravity-"_

Dick appeared above him, holding two mugs.

" _-Pulling in everything around them, even light."_

Jay looks up into blue blue eyes and can't form words.

"— _Consumes everything around them until there's nothing left-."_

"Not falling asleep on me, are you?"

"Never" Jason winks, taking his mug

The evening goes down from there. What they both had meant to be simply a (legitimate) night cap turned into Dick on his back on the floor, soft black shirt pushed up above his nipples, Jason feeding him strawberries and mapping the universe out on his stomach with his fingers.

"How'd you learn so much about the stars?" Dick yawns

"I was a boy scout." Jay replies, continuing to draw out a galaxy across Dick's abs "Khaki shorts and all."

Dick raises an eyebrow and Jason doesn't even have to look at him to know it.

" I spent a lot of time at the library," Jason answers, truthfully "Heat and AC, open late. No screaming parents." He shrugs

Jason knows Dick is looking at him with sad eyes, but he refuses to look up and acknowledge it.

"Jay…"

"Hush." Jason interrupts, placing what he meant to be a chaste kiss on Dick's chest, only to find himself tasting his salty skin and placing another, and another, before rolling on top of Dick and kissing his way down his body.

"Jay-." Dick pants out, and he's missed that. Missed Dick's fingers in his hair, tugging and pulling hard enough to let a few strands loosen. Jay works open Dick's fly with his teeth and Dick is panting pulling him up and Jason obliges, meeting Dick's lips.

"Are you sure we should…" Dick pants out, rolling his hips as Jason works a particularly sensitive part of Dick's neck, sucking up a bruise.

Jason groans, rolling his hips, jeans feeling tight, too tight, around his erection. No, he isn't sure. But if he stops now he's pretty sure he'll actually die.

Again.

"Like this, then" Dick says, gripping Jason's hips and spreading legs and grinding against him just right. So good they both choke on a moan.

They set a fast face, the floor creaking underneath them, words whispered in between moans and broken kisses. Jason wasn't even sure what he was saying, sentimental nonsense, but Dick was far too gone to care, tensing and shaking in a way that Jason knew meant he was coming soon.

"Jaybird. I'm—are you…"

"Yes." Jay hisses, biting down hard on Dick's collar bone. Dick gives a shout, then convulses, shooting in his pants, Jason's not far behind him.

Mindful of his weight, Jason rolls off of Dick, staring at the ceiling.

"— _Only dying when there's no matter left-."_

"Holy shit." He pants out

Dick merely grunts in agreement. Sounds like there may be something to this 'taking it slow' thing after all.

X

The next few dates go as routine as can be expected, until a nor'easter hits Gotham and the city shuts down due to the wind and water. The coms are even screwy.

By the time they find each other, they're soaked to the bone and hardly share any words as Jason lays him down on a rooftop, then in the loft of his safe house, and makes love to him until his legs give out.

X

They begin to notice something wrong around late Summer. Dick, while back in fighting form, is sometimes just… not Dick.

Oracle sends him reports, concerns. Gotham's underbelly trade stories, but Jason dismisses them. Dismisses them as Dick simply cracking down harder, or exaggeration.

But Jason begins to see it when they patrol together. The way he threatens frightened witnesses. The way he shows no mercy when he fights, breaking bones and burning buildings along the way. Sees it in the way he laughs while he chokes a perp, remarking that his face is beginning to turn blue like his costume. Tastes it when he licks the blood off his lips when Dick elbows him in the face for trying to pull him off. Finally has to acknowledge it as Dick laughs, gleefully, almost shrieking, as he slams a perp's head in a car door in front of children.

It's the Pit.

Bruce was right.

X


	8. 27

They finally figure it out when Jason is 27. When Selina of all people comments on how he looks like he hasn't aged a day (before kicking him off a fire escape and escaping with priceless gems).

Jason then stands in front of the mirror and looks at himself. _Really_ looks at himself.

Remembers still getting carded when buying beer. How the cashier he was fliting with assumed he'd just started college.

He still looked 18.

It takes Bruce less than three hours to confirm it.

He's not aging.

X

He tells Dick while he's training on the uneven bars. They've discovered he tends to take bad news better, fly into less rages, when he's moving.

At first, Dick laughs. Then realizes Jason is serious. Then laughs again, and continues flying.

Jason always thought it'd be Dick who'd live forever. Peter Pan. The boy who never grew up. The man who's forever young. The pure and perfect Dick Grayson.

Dick flings himself from the bars, twists in the air, and lance gracefully. He gives a mock bow.


	9. Dick

When Dick is 34, he snaps and drops a rapist off a roof.

Jason isn't fast enough to stop him. Bruce barely arrives in time to stop him from hitting the pavement.

By the time he's 35 he doesn't remember it.

X

When Dick is 36, Bruce insists he give up the Nightwing mantle, possibly to Tim or to seek a protégé.

Dick dislocates his jaw as a response.

When Dick finally wakes from the sedatives, he agrees to take a break, but only if Jason fills in for him.

He'd done it before, so it wasn't too jarring of a switch. But Jason hadn't been in his right mind when he'd been Nightwing. Then again, neither had Dick lately so maybe that meant something.

He couldn't help but wonder if giving him the Nightwing mantle was something Dick had done as a means of stopping Jason's own violent tendencies, both of theirs really, at least temporarily. He was sure if he asked Dick, he'd deny it, but Jason assumes the role without complaint, even if it meant fighting crime with virtually all of his face exposed while holding stupid sticks.

Though, that's not saying the costume didn't have its perks. It had seemingly become some sort of fetish for Dick. Jason would get back into Dick's apartment and hardly be through the window before Dick would be on him, naked and _hard_ , begging Jay to fuck him. To leave the costume on.

Jason wondered if this was a weird narcissistic streak, Dick wanting to literally fuck himself, or something different, Dick wanting to be hurt by the perfect version of himself. Either way, he never asked, and never denied.

Dick is 37 by the time he, and reluctantly Bruce, deem him combat ready. Jason is glad to have the hood back, to have his guns back (even if they are mostly rubber bullets these days) and to be back fighting alongside Dick again.

He'd never say it, but they both knew it. Dick wasn't the same. Just as skilled as every, but less finesse, less grace. More power.

He saw more and more of Bruce in him.

X

It's when he's 38 and Jay is 33 that the fights start. Small things at first. Quips about Jay needing the children's menu or having to go to a frat party or if he needed Dick to buy him alcohol.

But then it grew to budding on bitter resentment. Jason dismisses a lot of it, knowing it's not entirely Dick. That it's the Pit. It's the growing insecurity of an aging vigilante and the rage of the Pit whispering sweet nothings in Dick's ear.

But there are times when he can't. Times when Dick's comments cut a little too deep, seethe a little too much and Jason can't help but throw it back at him, and the wind up throwing things, bending them until the break, screaming across the kitchen table at each other until neither can remember why.

The first few years these generally ended in hate sex, make up sex, neither was entirely sure anymore. The kind of sex were they tore skin and brought up blood, dented walls left carpet burns on their backs.

Then that ended and Jason would wake with a black eye and a sore jaw, Dick in his arms. Dick bringing him ice and planting kisses on every inch of skin.

And then, on Dick's 43rd birthday, it ended with Jason waking with an eye swollen shut, alone.

X


	10. 37

Jason spends most of his 37th year traveling, both on world and off it. The newly formed Outlaws tracking down an extraterrestrial crime syndicate that decided to set up shop on Earth, though they meet up in the crossfire on occasion. Once, when a battleship touches down in Bludhaven and Dick fucks him in the woods behind the park to celebrate. And another when Dick tracks Jason down in Instanbul and they spend a week exploring the city, braking into museums to view ancient artifacts, making love – not fucking.

But mostly their relationship goes digital, daily text messages and emails. It's not the same, but Jay can't deny the joy of having dozens of nude and half naked pictures of Dick on his phone, waking up to videos that made even him blush was better than Christmas.

It's fun. They once spend an entire day communicating in emoji's. Surprisingly, and not, Dick seems to understand it way more than Jason, who often wonders what the hell half the images mean.

It gives him hope. He thinks that things will be better when he gets home.

They aren't.

X


	11. The best

When Dick is 44 he dislocates a shoulder when under estimating a jump.

The nurse at the hospital thinks Jason is his son.

X

Disk is 45 when they attend a Wayne Gala together. Jason is bored, but mostly impressed that Bruce still hosts these things. Tim is woo-ing young girls in the corner, and Damian, a man now, looking so much like Bruce it's almost startling, hanging by his father's side, schmoozing investors.

He loses Dick after a while and winds up in the company of a group of heiresses. He lies about who he is, having been used to it for so long. Jason Todd is still legally dead, after all. It's fun. They flirt harmlessly a bit, and he shows them around the manor, surprised he still knows all of the twists and turns.

The night winds down and they ask him to leave with them. He declines, saying his boyfriend would appreciate it (not that he didn't have a healthy appreciation of the 'fairer sex'). One of them slips her number into his pocket. He pretends not to notice.

When Jason gets home, he's excited to strip Dick out of his tuxedo. Or not. Either way was fine with him, when the fighting started.

If pressed, Jason couldn't tell you what started it, but he's halfway to kicking a shoe off and undoing his tie, contemplating how much of the tux Dick could leave on and fuck him without ruining it when Dick begins acting standoffish.

Jay goes up to wrap his arms around Dick when Dick shoves him off.

Jason sighs.

"What is it?" He asks "What'd I do?"

"Did you fuck her?"

Jason blinks, gaping in confusion.

"Wha-?"

"Did you?"

"Who—wha—the girl?!"

"Yes. Did you-."  
"Of course not. Is that what this is about?"

Dick doesn't respond, just reaches into Jason's jacket pocket and pulls out the slip of paper with her number on it.

"Why'd you keep this?"

"I didn't have a chance to toss it out. Dick, look, this is silly." Jason steps closer "You _know_ this is silly."

Dick sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Is it?"

"Ye-."

"Look at me, Jay. It's gotta be like fucking your dad."

"Brother, technically."

"Jay!"

"I would've gone with more of a 'silver fox' sorta reference."

"Jay." Dick says, annoyed

"The point is, I don't care. I don't want anyone but you." He reaches out, slowly unbuttoning Dick's shirt "Besides, you've been fucking me for well over a decade..."

"That's the problem," Dick says, grasping Jason's hands

"Pretty sure I came so hard I blacked out last night. I fail to see how that's a prob-."

"What about in another decade. Two? What then?"

Jay blinks.

"I want… I want more for you, Jay."

Jason can't think of a response.

X

He wakes in the morning, sun pouring through the window, Dick still in his tux, sitting on his side of the bed, watching him.

Dick would always be the Boy wonder in his eyes. Always be laughter and warmth, eyes crinkling at the corners. Jason stares at Dick, _really_ stares at him. Every gray hair, every wrinkle.

"We're fucking done, aren't we?" He says, at last

"Yeah." Dick says, threading their fingers together

"We had a good run, didn't we?"

"The best."

X


	12. Honor

Dick retires shortly after they break up, spending his time mostly assisting Babs and annoying Bruce and Damian.

They don't speak for a long time.

X

"How do you stand it?" Jason asks, one night, flicking the ash off his cigarette, watching it flutter to the sidewalk below "Watching them all grow older, staying the same? Knowing you'll outlive all of us?"

Above him, Clark floated like a God, studying the Metropolis skyline.

"Especially you, if you keep smoking those things."

Jason rolls his eyes, but flicks the cigarette away nonetheless.

"You find a purpose, and you learn to deal."

"Even when Lois dies? When _Bruce_ dies?"

Clark flinches, but doesn't address the use of Bruce's name. Jason takes that as confirmation, but doesn't press.

"She's the woman I love more than anything. I know she'd want me to continue on protecting people. Saving the world. And I'll do that to honor her. Forever, if need be."

Jason grows quiet and takes that in.

"What will you do to honor him?"

X

He meets Kori in the Caribbean, and can't help but smile at the déjà vu. She is as stunning as ever, flaming hair and golden skin. They buried Roy not too long ago, and Ollie two months after that. She asks about him, about Dick, but he deflects the question. She spends most of her time off planet now, assisting with the rule of Tamaran.

They make love in the moonlight on the beach, waves bubbling against their toes. Jason nearly cries when he cums inside her, wrapped in her heat, her warmth. For the first time in years feeling like home.

"Oh Jay," she smiles "You're the same. Always the same."

It's neither a compliment or an insult. It just is.

It will be over a decade before he sees her again.

X

"Would you believe me if I told you I missed you?"

Jason opens his eyes, inhales sea air, sees light pouring through white cotton.

"No."

"Long time no see."

Jason sighed, rolling away from her.

"What do you want."

"Love-."

"What. Do. You. Want?" Jason repeats, more sternly "I don't have time for this."

"I would argue, Jason Peter Todd, that you have all the time in the world, don't you think?"

Jason tenses.

"Unless," she continues, nails scratching down his back "You happen to upset the one person who can change that."

Jason remains silent.

"I'm fond of you, Handsome. Don't change that."

Jay sighs, more a calming gesture than one of annoyance, and turns to her.

"What can I do for you?"  
"Better." She smiles "But alas, you'll have to wait to find out. Unfortunately, we've run out of time."

"Wha-."

"Be seeing you."

Jason jolts awake.

X


	13. 45

Jason is 45 by the time he visits Dick again, and if he didn't know better he'd swear Babs sent him to the wrong place, but he knows better than to question the commissioner.

The place is like a bunker. Probably was one. Cleaned beyond military guidelines, lingering smell of bleach. Guns line the walls, all clearly used recently.

 _'So much for retirement.'_

The man in front of him doesn't even look like Dick. Not really. With his short gray hair and hardened face and eye patch. Dick gives him the short version. He'd teamed up with Batman and got burned. You'd think that'd be his life story by now.

This man is so full of hatred, seething with rage of what he's lost. What time and Bruce and bullets have taken from him.

How being a fucking superhero drained the life out of him.

 _'But you're still helping. Fighting the good fight.'_

"Not for you though, Jay." Dick says "I guess. Not for you."

Jason looks at the deep creaselines of Dick's face and wants to touch him. Kiss him.

"You'll always be Peter Pan, Dick." Jason says "You'll always be the golden boy."

"What's that make you then, Wendy?"

Jason makes a mock offended face, and he can almost see a smile on Dick's face before it is shut down and buried. The coldness rests uneasy with Jason.

"Have you met the new Batman yet?"

"Yeah, some kid."

"Yet another blue eyed, black haired boy. You think he's making a collection?"

"Sounds like Bruce didn't choose him. He chose Bruce."

Jason let's that weight on him, as he watches Dick clean his guns.

"Do you think… we'd have been different?" Jason asks "If we had a choice?"

"We all had a choice." Dick says "We just didn't know it."

A long silence passes between them.

"Well, you got your info." Dick says, gesturing towards the manila folder beside Jason "What else-."

"I don't regret it," Jason interrupts "Not even dying. I don't regret any of it."

Besides, what alternative did he have? Wind up in some foster home and eventually follow in his father's footsteps?

"Besides. If I hadn't… I never would've learned to fly." Jason says, then finds himself reaching towards Dick "Never would've met you."

For a moment, Jason thinks Dick is going to let him. Then Dick yanks his hand away.

Jason swallows the hurt.

"And then where would you be?" Dick asks, walking away from the table they'd been standing at.

"Without my first love."

Dick stops walking

Jason moves to follow him, pressing as near to him as he dared.

"Do you remember?" Jason asks "The first time?"

Jason had been 20. They were both so young. Rocking together on the floor of the TV room of Wayne Manor, biting each other to stay quiet.

The salty taste of his skin.

"Do you?" Jason asks again, and that's all he can get out before Dick is on him, grabbing him and pulling him into a bruising kiss.

"So young," Dick pants "So beautiful. Always so beautiful."

Dick kisses him harder, biting, almost enough to draw blood, hands sliding up Jay's shirt calluses catching on the skin.

"God, Dick." Jason moans "God you feel-."

And he is being pushed away, falling to the floor and Dick's hands are in fists, pacing the floor.

"No." He repeats " **No.** "

Jason runs a hand through his hand, worrying at the white streak.

"Dick..?"

"No." Dick says, as a way of answer "I won't."

 _'Won't love you again.'_

 _'Can't.'_

And Jason gets it. He pulls himself to his feet before moving over to Dick, threading their fingers together, forehead resting on his, almost sharing the same breath.

"We had a good run, didn't we?" Dick asks

Jason chuckles and nods.

"The best."

X


	14. Always the Same

"And what does Damian think?" Jason asks

"Of what?" Bruce replies, not lifting his head. Jason gestures towards Terry's Batsuit in the corner "Ah. We… don't really talk about it."

"Where is the little demon runt anyway?"

"With his mother. After Ra's death he wanted to turn the League into something…"

"Not evil?"

"Precisely." Bruce replies "He said Gotham wasn't big enough for two Batmen."

Jason shrugs. He did have a point.

"How come none of our toys ever looked like this?" Jason asks "I mean… flight?"

"Because the tech didn't exist yet, and now that it does I'm too damn old to wear it."

Jason looks at Bruce. Tried to count the crinkles near his eyes.

"Well" He points out "I want one."

"Put it on your Christmas list."

Jason laughs and Bruce can't help but look at him. Even though he tries to hide it, even though he's put on mass, he still looks like a boy. Young and vibrant. The same boy who he taught to fly. The same boy he lost, committed his body to the earth. The same boy who's death he's never quite gotten over.

They say cemeteries are the Earth's way of not letting go.

He looks over to Jason's costume, still in the display case, then back to Jason, who was not so discretely pocketing some of Terry's weapons.

He laughs.

"Still the same, Jay. Always the same."

X

A.N. One of my favorite headcanons is that Jason constantly steals shit from the Batcave


	15. 50

Jason is 50 and pretends to be Dick's son so they let him sit at his bedside.

Of all the things to take down the Boy Wonder, he never would've pegged cancer as the winner.

Dick looks a shell of himself. He eventually decided to stop medication, because he 'wants to die with some fucking dignity' and not delirious, too exhausted to even speak.

Jay thinks of offering the Pit, but knows that if that was what Dick wanted, he would've asked.

"Should've fucked you." Dick says, between coughs "That time you came for info. When I…" He trails off "Should've fucked you."

They both laugh.

"Yeah, I mean, how often can an old guy like you pull a hot piece of ass like me?"

Dick rolls his eyes.

"I believe the term was 'silver fox'."

"Ya. Maybe 10 years ago."

"Hey, don't fling shade."

Terry laughs before Jason interrupts.

"It's not too late, you know."

"Not too late?"

"I'm just saying, you've had a decades long standing invitation."

Dick blinks at him, confused. Jason wiggles his eyebrows. Dick laughs.

"Kiddo, I am not leaving this bed."

"Don't have to." Jason says, stranding to lock the door, slipping his jacket off.

Dick swallows


	16. Chapter 16

Jason wishes he could say the skies cried when they put Dick in the ground, but the weather was mild, sunny.

Damian wheels Bruce to the gravesite. Damian, who looks decades older than him. He keeps a strong face, but Jason can feel how much he's hurting.

Dick was his Batman. His mentor. One of his first real tastes of family.

After everyone departs it's just the Bat family remaining, looking at the dirt. Tim comforts Steph in the corner. Barb just stares, lost in her on memories. Cass is watching from the tree line, preparing to leave almost as quietly as she had arrived.

Jason swallows his tears. Buries the urge to lay down on the earth that Dick was six feet underneath. Pushes it down and focuses on the sound of Dick's laughter. The warmth of his skin. The sweetness of his kisses.

 _'The best.'_

"Are you alright?" He asks, at length

"No. I am not alright." Bruce says, though his voice remains steady "My son has died."


	17. 72

Time becomes a blur to Jason after that. He spends 6 years in Tibet, _finally_ deciding to work on the anger issues Bruce has criticized him about for so long.

Spends a year in space with Kori, then another with the League.

Returns to Gotham and goes solo. Buries himself in crime until he is nothing but vengeance. He has a child molester on a rooftop, gun in his mouth, when Clark's voice chimes in his ear.

 _'How are you going to honor him?'_

Jason breaks his legs instead.

X

Jason is 72 when he gets the call that Bruce has finally passed. They bury him next to his parents. Damian comments that the plot is full, and wonders where he will go. Jason notices the way Terry's hands clench and unclench. The chiseled jaw and stern blue eyes, so much like Damian's. Like Bruce's, but doesn't comment on it.

Tim has all but retired, working a vanilla job, getting married and having a family. Jason jokingly flirts with his daughters, much to Tim's chagrin, but nothing comes of it. Jason once makes a pass at Tim's wife, only to wake up the following day drugged, utterly naked, and bound and gagged on a rooftop in the middle of nowhere, with a note that states "I have photos" and various other phrases that reminds Jay of how fucking terrifying Tim can be when he wants.

Damian, surprisingly, leaves Wayne Enterprises in Tim's hands (not that he had much choice, Bruce left it to Tim) without much argument, and they continue on with the mission.


End file.
